I caught G4’s broadcast of the Microsoft E3 press event on TV today. Since they changed the format of E3 last year and shut down the expo hall, this is really our one big chance to see what the big guys have up their sleeves for the upcoming year. I’m really glad G4 is televising it live - it’s nice to have a channel that knows what gamers really want to see… (ominous foreshadowing). Here are my notes:

• After some pregame chatter, the auditorium darkens and the event opens to the theme from ‘Halo’, being performed live by a group of musicians (and purported Halo fans). There is a woman onstage in a 1990’s-era leotard, rocking out on the electric violin… the whole thing seems kinda familiar…
• This goes on for a while… seriously, someone press start.
• Peter Moore, a Microsoft VP and our host for the evening, finally comes out and introduces the band… “Corporeal”… high school kids from Illinois or somewhere. meh.
• Peter Moore is excited that this event is being broadcast live for the first time ever. He won’t be as excited when he gets home and checks his TiVo… (more foreshadowing)
• Oh no. Peter is joining a group from Harmonix to demo Rock Band in front of the audience. They stick him on guitar, where he can’t do much damage, but they forgot about the wireless mike he was wearing, and… nooooo! Stay out of the chorus, Peter!
• We’re not off to a good start here - never open a PR event with two amateur musical acts. We’re only ten minutes in, and my ears are bleeding. Thankfully, G4 cuts to a commercial before I swallow my tongue. Good call, G4…
• … or was it? We come back from commercial to the closing seconds of the Mass Effect trailer. Huh. Really? I sat through 10+ minutes of atonal screaming and Halo cover bands so that you could show your commercials during the Mass Effect trailer? Kinda wanted to see that. Seems like Microsoft would have wanted me to see it, too.
• Moving right along, Peter Moore jumps into his PowerPoint presentation. Executive summary: Microsoft still leads in this-generation console sales, with the Wii in second and gaining. Sony is screwed. Since the 360 had a head-start on the other two systems, the sales numbers for the period that all three systems have been on the market are more relevant: 360’s and Wii’s are selling at about the same rate, twice that of the PS3.
• But the big surprise is on the software side: since the launch of the PS3 and the Wii, the Xbox has sold more games than both other consoles combined. When you include total hardware and software sales, consumers have spent as much on Xbox-related merchandise as on the other two systems combined ($2.4 billion US).
• The top five best-selling games on the last-generation consoles were: GTA3, GTA:Vice City, GTA: San Andreas, Halo, and Halo 2. Guess which two franchises are releasing new installments on the Xbox 360 this holiday season? Peter Moore’s pants are getting tight…
• They show a montage of games that will be releasing this year: PGR4, Dynasty Warriors: GUNDAM, Call of Duty 4, Stranglehold, Guitar Hero 3, Beautiful Katamari (looks just like every other Katamari game), Lost Odyssey (very intriguing), NBA Live 08 (graphics look sharp, but I gotta see 2K8), Mass Effect (still wish I could have seen that trailer… ahem.), Medal of Honor Airborne, Tiger Woods 08 (no sign of the kid), Ace Combat 6, NHL 08, Assassin’s Creed (hell yeah.), Spider Man:Friend or Foe?, The Simpsons Game (with Matt Groening as a boss!), Splinter Cell Conviction, NASCAR 08, Eternal Sonata, BioShock (very creepy, very awesome.), Madden 08, Tony Hawk’s Proving Ground, Crash of the Titans (new Crash Bandicoot), Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, The Orange Box (very cool graphics and animation style), Bee Movie Game, Rock Band, NARUTO: Rise of a Ninja
• Microsoft VP for Global Marketing Jeff Bell comes out to talk about Xbox Arcade Live… new Scene It? Game… and… commercial!
• And we’re back, just in time to see the closing seconds of the Naruto trailer… looked pretty cool… kinda would have liked to have seen that.
• Jeff Bell tells us that Madden 08 will run at twice the frame rate of the last installment, then brings out Reggie Bush play against him in a quick demo.
• As they are selecting their plays Reggie tells Bell not to look at his controller: “I know how you Microsoft guys do – try to cheat.” Whoops.
• Reggie runs Virtual Reggie up the right side for a gain of six, and the Microsoft suit starts to get inappropriately cocky, trying to talk trash as they’re selecting their next play:

Suit: (yelling) What’s it gonna be? Pass or run? Pass or run? Pass or run? What you gonna do? Pass or run? Pass or run?
Reggie: … um… so… are you going to pick a play?

• Virtual Reggie runs it up the left sideline for a 60-yard touchdown. After some awkwardly forced banter in which the Microsoft guy calls Reggie “brother” five times in less than a minute, he is released from his corporate obligations.
• Xbox Live is at 7 million members, with a new one every 8 seconds.
• A montage of games coming to Live Arcade, including: the original Sonic, War World, Wing Commander Arena, the old NES Track and Field, Golden Axe, and a Sudoku game.
• Sonic and Golden Axe are available right now (excuse me a minute)
• Disney’s content library is coming to Xbox Live in HD… starting tonight.
• HD Video downloads will be coming to Canada and Europe on Live later this year. Way to go, Canada.
• Head of Microsoft Game Studios Shane Kim comes in to talk about Forza and to introduce a demo of PGR4… now with motorcycles!
• The PGR4 demo is… cut off by a commercial! I just want to take this time to thank G4 again for their excellent coverage.
• Cliffy B from Epic comes out to demo Gears of War for the PC… it has five new campaign chapters and a new multiplayer mode.
• Peter Moore is back to tell us that Windows Live support will be built into the Epic’s Unreal Engine 3. Nice move.
• Commercial, and we come back in the middle of the Call of Duty 4 trailer. Wow. That looks insane. Some developers come out to give a demo of the game, and the photorealism of the graphics during gameplay is absolutely incredible. They announce an online multiplayer demo, details at charlieoscardelta.com.
• They show an old GTA4 trailer… boo!! We want new content!
• Two new GTA4 episodes will be released exclusively for the 360 next spring. This will make Xbox the only console where you can buy the game three times…
• Short Resident Evil 5 trailer. No sign of Mila Jovovich…
• Assassin’s Creed demo from UbiSoft Montreal… this looks like it will be worth the wait…
• There’s a glitch in the demo when an enemy dies in midair, bleeding out prostrate six feet above the floor. Oops. Looks like the wait just got a little longer…
• They show some kind of Halo live action… trailer? Movie? Commercial? Fan fiction? Not really sure what that was about…
• Peter Moore holds up an Xbox 360, spray-painted army green, and announces the “Halo 3 Special Edition” console launching in November… dead silence in the audience. You can hear crickets. Hilarious.
• Finally… what everyone’s been waiting for: they’re showing the Halo 3 trailer! …aaand… wow. G4 cuts to a commercial. Of course they did. This really couldn’t have ended any other way.

So, in summary, there were no big announcements from Microsoft – they’re just counting the days until their big moneymakers, Halo 3 and GTA4, drop. Look for them to expand their Live content, especially HD video content and “party-style” multiplayer Arcade games as they position the 360 as a home entertainment console. Assassin’s Creed and Call of Duty 4 look freakin’ awesome, and productivity as we know it will end on September 25th.

Eat a dick, G4. See you in hell. Or at the Sony event.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, July 10th, 2007 at 10:12 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.